In the excitement of a new relationship, it’s easy to go above and beyond to make a good impression. But constantly putting your partner’s needs ahead of your own can create an unhealthy dynamic from the very beginning. Kelsey Wonderlin, dating coach for women and licensed therapist, shares in her June 18 Instagram post how to recognise overgiving and build healthier dating habits instead. (Also read: Love without limits: How digital dating is redefining romance in India )
Here’s what she recommends:
1. Don’t treat him like your boyfriend yet
Kelsey Wonderlin advises against taking on relationship responsibilities too early. “No matter how excited you feel about him, he’s not your boyfriend yet. Do not clean, cook, or walk his dog (exception: at-home cooking date).”
2. Don’t rearrange your schedule
According to Wonderlin, it’s important to prioritise your own plans instead of changing them for someone you’re just getting to know. “Don’t rearrange your schedule to fit him in. Prioritize your own plans and commitments first.”
3. Limit constant texting
She suggests avoiding all-day conversations in the early stages of dating. “Limit how often you’re texting. Avoid all-day conversations—those are for relationships.”
4. Keep dates short and intentional
Rather than spending hours together right away, Wonderlin recommends taking things slowly. “Stick to short, intentional dates. Save the marathon hangouts for later stages.”
5. Let the effort be mutual
Healthy relationships should involve equal investment from both people. “Leave room for reciprocal effort. Don’t overcompensate by doing all the planning and effort.”
6. Build emotional intimacy first
Wonderlin advises waiting before becoming physically intimate. “Hold off on physical intimacy until you’ve built emotional intimacy.”
7. Maintain your own life
She encourages people not to lose themselves in a new relationship. “Stay focused on your own life. Maintain your routine, friendships, and self-care.”
8. Match their effort, not their potential
Instead of investing based on what someone could become, focus on how they’re showing up now. “Evaluate his effort before investing more. Match his energy, not his potential.”
Note to readers: This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional advice.
This report is based on user-generated content from social media. HT.com has not independently verified the claims and does not endorse them.
