Nagpur: “I’m a soldier’s wife, I must give him a smiling send-off.” These were the words Geetika Lidder told herself on December 9, 2021 — the day she went to Palam airbase to receive the mortal remains of her husband, Brigadier Lakhbinder Singh Lidder, who perished in the tragic chopper crash near Coonoor alongwith late CDS General Bipin Rawat.Lovingly know as Toni by his family and friends, he was a decorated officer, a devoted family man, and one of 14 lives lost that day who served as Defence Attaché to CDS Rawat.Geetika was in the city Friday evening, sharing her raw story of love, loss, motherhood, and resilience in uniform, drawn from the book based on their love life. “This book is not just about grief. It’s about life, humour, Toni’s (Brig Lidder’s) swag, and the heavy but proud price of being a soldier’s wife,” she said.Speaking about the day, Lidder, a vice principal at a private school in Delhi, said that when her husband had landed in Coimbatore, he had texted her before flying in the chopper to Wellington, Tamil Nadu with CDS Rawat. “That was our last chat,” she recalled.After sometime when she was taking online classes when she began receiving frantic calls. “Initially, I wasn’t worried. He had flown in choppers all his life. But after some time, the truth came out,” she said. The toughest part, she says, was helping their 16-year-old daughter, Aashna, process the loss. “I never had the time to mourn or grief. My biggest responsibility was my daughter, and for that we normalised grief. We still talk about Toni,” she said.Lidder shared how after her husband’s death, she was sceptical about buying new clothes or even wearing bright colors, but it was her daughter who pulled her out of it. “When my husband has adorned me with the colours of the flag, then why should I hesitate to wear them,” she said.Addressing the importance of preparedness, she emphasised financial literacy for defence spouses, including making an ‘After Me’ folder. “We don’t like to talk about it. But we must,” she said. Lidder shared how after Brig Lidder’s passing, it was the likes of PA Hawaldar Pritam Singh who helped her with the technicalities. “I had no idea about our bank account as I never asked Toni about it,” she said.Chapters like ‘Lidder Swag’ and ‘Life After Toni’ capture the essence of their life together. “When I meet him on the other side, I want him to raise a toast and say — you played well,” she summed up. T he event organised by Vidarbha Literature Festical (VLF) was moderated by Sachin Jahagirdar alongside present were Maj Gen SK Vidyarthi and Maj Gen Upkar Chander, the OTA Kamptee Commanding Officer.Nagpur: “I’m a soldier’s wife, I must give him a smiling send-off.” These were the words Geetika Lidder told herself on December 9, 2021 — the day she went to Palam airbase to receive the mortal remains of her husband, Brigadier Lakhbinder Singh Lidder, who perished in the tragic chopper crash near Coonoor alongwith late CDS General Bipin Rawat.Lovingly know as Toni by his family and friends, he was a decorated officer, a devoted family man, and one of 14 lives lost that day who served as Defence Attaché to CDS Rawat.Geetika was in the city Friday evening, sharing her raw story of love, loss, motherhood, and resilience in uniform, drawn from the book based on their love life. “This book is not just about grief. It’s about life, humour, Toni’s (Brig Lidder’s) swag, and the heavy but proud price of being a soldier’s wife,” she said.Speaking about the day, Lidder, a vice principal at a private school in Delhi, said that when her husband had landed in Coimbatore, he had texted her before flying in the chopper to Wellington, Tamil Nadu with CDS Rawat. “That was our last chat,” she recalled.After sometime when she was taking online classes when she began receiving frantic calls. “Initially, I wasn’t worried. He had flown in choppers all his life. But after some time, the truth came out,” she said. The toughest part, she says, was helping their 16-year-old daughter, Aashna, process the loss. “I never had the time to mourn or grief. My biggest responsibility was my daughter, and for that we normalised grief. We still talk about Toni,” she said.Lidder shared how after her husband’s death, she was sceptical about buying new clothes or even wearing bright colors, but it was her daughter who pulled her out of it. “When my husband has adorned me with the colours of the flag, then why should I hesitate to wear them,” she said.Addressing the importance of preparedness, she emphasised financial literacy for defence spouses, including making an ‘After Me’ folder. “We don’t like to talk about it. But we must,” she said. Lidder shared how after Brig Lidder’s passing, it was the likes of PA Hawaldar Pritam Singh who helped her with the technicalities. “I had no idea about our bank account as I never asked Toni about it,” she said.Chapters like ‘Lidder Swag’ and ‘Life After Toni’ capture the essence of their life together. “When I meet him on the other side, I want him to raise a toast and say — you played well,” she summed up. T he event organised by Vidarbha Literature Festical (VLF) was moderated by Sachin Jahagirdar alongside present were Maj Gen SK Vidyarthi and Maj Gen Upkar Chander, the OTA Kamptee Commanding Officer.
