The search for the love gets more and more bumpy and obstacle-ridden in the age of dating apps and swipe culture. Scratching your head over the ever-expending glossary of dating terms, endless back and forth of dates and the dreaded ‘what are we’ conversations, it is easy to feel overwhelmed and give up the hope of love altogether.
But hear it from Bollywood actor Katrina Kaif, who revealed her emotionally rich advice on how to find love in a 2023 interview with Brut, while promoting the film Merry Christmas with Vijay Sethupathi. Let’s see what it means and why this perspective can be a game-changer for all the hopeless romantics.
What did Katrina Kaif say?
“You have to love yourself, build yourself up to be such an incredible fascinating person that somebody it’s only matter of time before somebody sees that falls in love with you. The need will attract need but if you are satisfied with yourself you will attract other people who need you.”
What does it mean?
What Katrina tried to suggest here is that loving yourself is a prerequisite for being in love.
Many people may try to be different, stand out, change themselves in order to fit into the ‘type’ of their crush. But this is highly counterintuitive, and deep down, you know it is not sustainable.
Even the phrase ‘hopeless romantic’, when someone proudly identifies as one, can sometimes suggest that they are approaching love from a place of desperation, running out of time, FOMO, which is exactly what Katrina cautioned against.
Before you look for love, work on yourself, work on yourself. As she said, ‘build yourself up to be such an incredible fascinating person.’ This means you should nurture yourself and your inner world, develop curiosity and opinions, believe in yourself, and build self-worth.
This way, when someone actually falls in love with you, it is because of the way you are. They are drawn to your authentic and genuine persona, not a version of yourself that you created just to be liked.
In the end, Katrina also emphasised that ‘need will attract need,’ meaning you attract people one the basis of how you enter a relationship. To put it simply, if you enter a relationship because you are lonely and insecure, you may attract someone who is equally clingy or emotionally unstable. Your approach to finding love acts as a mirror.
Love is never about being resuced, so it is important to dispel antiquanted beliefs about the knight in shining armour or the damsel in distress. Love, at its healthiest is about two whole people choosing each other, not incomplete people expecting the other to fill the void. Self-love before loving anyone is not selfish, but rather generous, as it lowers the expectations and pressure of helping to be ‘complete.’
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