Having your child diagnosed with any serious illness is absolutely heartbreaking. As a parent, it is difficult to keep your head at a moment when you get the news. The mind goes blank, and many do not remember what is said to them or what they should ask at such a time.
In an interaction with HT Lifestyle, pediatric oncologist Dr Silky Jain shared five questions that parents should not forget to ask their doctor before leaving their chamber after receiving a diagnosis.
1. Can you explain this to me simply?
Parents often nod along, too overwhelmed to really absorb what is being said.
Dr Jain noted, “I always tell them it is okay to ask the same thing twice, or to say plainly, ‘I don’t understand, can you explain that again?’ A good specialist will never make a parent feel small for asking. Understanding the diagnosis in plain language is the first step towards making decisions with clarity rather than fear.”
2. What does treatment actually look like, day by day?
The unknown is often more frightening than the treatment itself, shared Dr Jain. Knowing what to expect, the tests, the hospital visits, the timeline, gives parents something to hold on to instead of just fear.
“Ask for a rough week-by-week picture. It will not always go exactly to plan, but having a map makes the journey feel less like falling and more like walking a path,” noted the doctor.
3. What is normal, and what should worry us?
This is the question that Dr Jain wishes more parents would ask. Knowing the difference between an expected side effect and a warning sign can spare families a lot of unnecessary panic.
“Ask the specialist to be specific,” she stated. “Which symptoms are expected, which ones mean call immediately, and which ones can wait until the next appointment. Write it down. You will need it at 2 am.”
4. How do we keep life feeling normal for our child?
The oncologist highlighted that parents get so consumed by treatment that they forget their child still wants to play, go to school, and feel like a kid.
In the words of Dr Jain, “Ask the care team which activities are still safe, whether school attendance is possible on good days, and how to talk to siblings and teachers about what is happening. Protecting a child’s sense of ordinary life, even in small ways, matters enormously for how they cope through treatment.”
5. Who do we call if something goes wrong?
As per Dr Jain, this one is non-negotiable, and every parent should leave with a name and a number, not the burden of figuring it out in a panic.
“Before you walk out of any appointment, make sure you know exactly who to contact after hours, on weekends, and in an emergency. If you do not have that information, ask before you leave the room,” she stated.
“My message to parents is simple. There is no such thing as a silly question. Asking early and asking often is one of the most powerful things you can do for your child,” added Dr Jain.
Note to readers: This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional medical advice. Always seek the advice of your doctor with any questions about a medical condition.
Dr Silky Jain is the chief of paediatric haematology and BMT, and Founder-CEO of Lavender Lane.
