Honesty is known to be the cornerstone of any strong relationship, and its importance in finding the right person to settle down with cannot be overstated. However, being honest about his lifestyle did not help a 34-year-old man while he was speaking to a prospective match seeking an arranged marriage.
He shared his experience on the popular subreddit, r/InsideIndianMarriage, where she received overwhelming support.
Reason for rejection
In his post, the man revealed that he was seeking a partner for an arranged marriage for three years when he connected with a woman from a different state. They shared a few conversations, during which the girl stated that she wanted a stay-at-home husband who does not drink or eat non-vegetarian food.
The man revealed that he enjoyed the occasional beer, maybe once or twice a month, and also liked to eat chicken, and therefore was not strictly vegetarian. Initially, the woman did not seem to be bothered by the information.
However, a few days later, she apparently asked him if he would be willing to give up drinking and eating non-vegetarian food completely after marriage. The man was not comfortable with the prospect and made his mind known.
“Then, she asked if I’d be willing to live in a nuclear family, which I wasn’t comfortable with either, given my mom’s medical condition and my desire to take care of her. I sent her a polite rejection message, wishing her all the best for her future,” he continued in the Reddit post.
“However, she responded with a very personal and attacking message, saying that I’m not a kind person and that I’m not fit to be part of a certain community because I drink and eat non-veg food. I replied to her politely, thanking her for her honesty.”
Family gets involved
Things took a turn for the worse when the woman’s mother called the man’s father and complained about his son being an “alcoholic” who is not willing to quit alcohol after marriage. This upset the man’s father, who screamed at him for the first time.
The old man went so far as to accuse his son of being the reason why all previous marriage prospects fell through, even though the man claimed that they had nothing to do with his drinking or eating habits.
“I understand that he was upset, but I feel like I was honest and respectful throughout our conversations,” stated the man. “He’s (the father) now telling me that I’ll never get married because no girl in our community will accept a boy who drinks or eats chicken. He’s basically saying that I should change who I am to get married, which is frustrating and unfair.”
Meanwhile, the man wishes to find someone with whom he can have a genuine connection, not someone who has to settle for. He went on to ask Redditors for their thoughts on the matter.
Redditors support the man
The netizens on Reddit mostly appreciated that the man stood his ground and was clear about his stance from the beginning.
“I’d say you dodged a bullet. She and her mom seem really spiteful, unable to take any kind of negative criticism gracefully (and in this case it wasn’t even a criticism of her), and doesn’t align one bit with your views, ethos and lifestyle choices,” commented one person. “You did the right thing. Hiding these things only to reveal them after marriage would’ve created more problems.”
“Honesty is the best policy. Never let anyone make you feel bad about being honest,” shared another.
“That girl and her mother are both idiots and you seriously dodged a bullet there. As for your father, he is speaking out of frustration and fear of you never getting married. Give a few days for him to cool down and then tell him your side of the story,” noted a third.
“You’re all good. The story that got back to your dad seems far different than your actual conversation with match. Dodged a bullet and you’ll be fine,” shared a fourth.
“You don’t start a marriage on the foundation of lies. You are who you are and you should find someone who accepts you as you are,” observed yet another.
Note to readers: This report is based on user-generated content from social media. HT.com has not independently verified the claims and does not endorse them.
