Festive celebrations are meant to bring people together, but the pressure to impress, maintain appearances and meet social expectations can often take away from the joy of the season. From picture-perfect homes and elaborate meals to expensive gifts and carefully curated social media posts, celebrations are increasingly becoming about appearances rather than meaningful connections.
In an interview with HT Lifestyle, Coach Sangeeta Sharma, certified life coach, hypnotherapist and author, discusses how the pressure of “Log Kya Kahenge” (what will people say) is changing the way people celebrate festivals, the invisible labour that often falls on women, and why it is important to prioritise genuine connections over social approval. (Also read: Normal body weight but high metabolic risk: Doctor explains why you should look beyond BMI to assess your health )
“It seems like somewhere along the line, our festive holidays turned into a competitive event instead of a joyful celebration. Now, there’s this underlying tension where people think about what other people will think. That single question drives the holiday choices we make, from how much we spend to how we decorate our homes, what we wear, and who we invite. It feels like it’s no longer about sincere enjoyment, but about looking a little better than the neighbour, the cousin, or the colleague. Everyone wants to shine a bit brighter in group photos, and that’s really not what holiday cheer is about. This has become more about showing off than celebrating,” says Sangeeta.
How social media fuels festive expectations
The pressure to make every celebration look perfect can extend to almost every aspect of hosting. Homes are expected to look immaculate, gifts must be impressive, and food must be plentiful enough to satisfy every guest.
“While social media, especially Instagram, didn’t create this pressure, it certainly amplified it. Every shared reel shows flawlessly orchestrated celebrations, all beautifully captured and neatly edited. Rarely do we see the exhaustion behind the scenes, the arguments that occurred just before the camera clicked, or the budget that was stretched too thin. It’s disheartening to compare your real-life experiences with someone else’s highlight reel,” she explains.
“And usually, there’s a specific person, most often a woman, who bears the weight of these expectations. She takes on the planning, cooking, and all the behind-the-scenes work to ensure that every guest feels welcome while trying not to leave anyone out. It goes unnoticed as a full-time job, even though it happens year after year,” Sharma says.
Why family gatherings can feel emotionally demanding
“Family gatherings can also resurface old tensions. Maybe an uncle makes a comment that stings more than he intended. An aunt brings up a comparison that’s been around since childhood, or old sibling rivalries resurface after months of quiet. These holidays don’t create these wounds; they just know how to bring them back,” she observes.
Beyond the emotional pressure, festive celebrations can place a considerable strain on household budgets. “There’s often a hidden financial burden tied to the festivities. The gifts, the clothes, the hosting, everything is brushed off as ‘tradition,’ even if it stretches the budget. Everyone smiles and nods, as discussing money might dampen the festive mood,” she adds.
How to reclaim the joy of the festive season
According to Sangeeta, enjoying the festive season does not require withdrawing from celebrations altogether. Instead, it involves making conscious choices about how to spend time, money and emotional energy.
“But it doesn’t have to be this way. Instead of avoiding the season altogether, think about how you’ll celebrate it. Decide what truly matters to you this year and let go of the pressure to impress. Remember, not every party needs your full attention, and you don’t have to respond to every comparison made,” she advises.
She emphasises that the real value of the festive season lies in spending quality time with loved ones rather than creating an impressive display for others.
“At its core, the festive season should be about spending quality time with the people who matter most to you. It’s not about putting on a show. Real connections during this time can rejuvenate you rather than drain your energy,” Sharma says.
“Nobody remembers who had the brightest lights or the fullest spread. What people remember is who sat with them, really sat with them, when it mattered. That’s the only thing ‘log actually kya kahenge’, years later,” she concludes.
Note to readers: This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional medical advice. Always seek the advice of your doctor with any questions about a medical condition.
