Tiffany Song, a South Korean content creator and interpreter, is sparking a conversation on societal pressures after sharing a candid video explaining why she remains single at 37. In her April 21 Instagram Reels that resonated across social media, Tiffany challenged the traditional timeline often imposed on women in Asian cultures and beyond. Also read | 43-year-old unmarried Indian woman living alone gets honest about being single by choice: ‘In love with my freedom’
‘I was looking at marriage as an escape’
Tiffany’s reflection began with a common question that many women face as they enter their late thirties: “In your country, do people ask 37-year-old women why they’re not married yet?” While she admitted she doesn’t ‘really care anymore’, she noted that a recent inquiry sparked a trip down memory lane.
The pressure, she explained, was most palpable a decade ago during a period of personal upheaval. “About 10 years ago, when I was struggling after quitting my PhD program, those questions were terrifying. I felt lost and thought, ‘Is there nothing left for me to achieve? Should I just get married?’ I was looking at marriage as an escape,” Tiffany recalled.
A shift in perspective
The turning point for Tiffany came from an unexpected source: her uncle. His advice shifted her focus from societal expectations to personal fulfilment: “My uncle told me something that stuck with me,” Tiffany shared. “‘Put yourself first. Your happiness comes before marriage.’ That gave me so much courage,” he added.
She realised that entering a union out of desperation or a desire for stability would have been a mistake. “If I had married back then just to have someone to lean on, I don’t think that marriage would have ever given me the happiness I was truly looking for,” Tiffany said.
‘Being happy with myself is what matters most’
Now, at 37, Tiffany views her life through a lens of independence rather than lack. After ‘navigating through those lonely times’ on her own, she has reached a place of self-assurance where marriage is no longer a requirement for a meaningful life: “Marriage is no longer something I feel I must have to be complete… I’ve realised there’s no such thing as a standard life, only the one that feels right to me… To me, marriage is no longer homework, but more like a gift that might show up one day.”
In her video caption, she doubled down on this sentiment, writing: “Marriage is a gift, not a homework… being happy with myself is what matters most.”
A message to those feeling ‘behind’
Recognising that many of people likely face similar interrogations from relatives during holidays, Tiffany offered a final piece of advice for dealing with intrusive questions. “Personally, I think those questions can be rude, but next time someone asks, just give them a smile,” she suggested, adding, “You’re not ‘behind’ in life. You’re just busy creating a version of it that you actually love… You’re just busy creating your own masterpiece.”
Tiffany’s post attracted a wave of support from both men and women who relate to the cultural ‘milestone’ pressure. One commenter noted, “This question is asked in a lot of Asian families… it is COMPLETELY wrong to marry to fill the gaps of loneliness.” Another Instagram user, identifying as a man, added, “I find that question rude… It puts unnecessary stress on a woman. Live your life and do what makes you happy.”
Tiffany’s message serves as a reminder that the path to fulfilment is rarely a straight line, and certainly doesn’t require a wedding ring to be valid.
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