There are friendships, and then there is the girls’ group chat: part dating helpline, part investigation bureau and part 1am emergency room. It’s where screenshots are dissected, “hmm” is subjected to forensic analysis and a man can go from having rizz to giving the ick in three messages flat.
But could you actually keep up? This Girlfriends Day, put your Gen Z dating vocabulary to the test and find out whether you’d earn screenshot privileges or get quietly removed from the chat.
QUIZ TIME
Would you survive the girls’ group chat?
1.
HER: “Girls, why has he replied ‘hmm’ to my last THREE messages?”
The group chat diagnoses:
A) Ghosting
B) Dry texting
C) Pocketing
D) Cushioning
Answer: B
2.
HER: “We’re not together together. We just talk every day and I sleep at his place on weekends.”
The girls reply:
A) Hard launch
B) Situationship
C) Freak matching
D) Affordating
Answer: B
3.
HER: “I watched him run for the Metro and suddenly… I can’t explain it.”
The diagnosis?
A) Ick
B) Red flag
C) Breadcrumbing
D) Ghosting
Answer: A
4.
She sends the group chat a screenshot of his messages.
FRIEND 1: “Wait…”
FRIEND 2: “Okay he kinda ate.”
FRIEND 3: “Girl, he has ______.”
A) Orbit
B) Rizz
C) Cushion
D) Beige
Answer: B
5.
She sends six pictures to the group and asks:
“Which one should I post? You can only see his hand in this one.”
What is being planned?
A) Pocketing
B) Soft launch
C) Hardballing
D) Zombieing
Answer: B
6.
Three months later:
HER: “Okay I’m posting his face.”
THE CHAT: “FINALLYYYY.”
That’s the:
A) Hard launch
B) DTR
C) Micro-mance
D) Soul tie
Answer: A
7.
HER: “He disappears for days and then sends ‘miss you’ the second I stop caring.”
The chat says:
A) Breadcrumbing
B) Freak matching
C) Love bombing
D) Fexting
Answer: A
8.
HER: “GUYS YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE WHO TEXTED.”
The man who ghosted her four months ago has sent:
“Hey stranger :)”
B) Zombieing
C) Benching
D) Hardballing
Answer: B
9.
HER: “We’ve been together six months and I’ve never met a single friend of his.”
The girls suspect:
A) Pocketing
B) Affordating
C) Freak matching
D) Catching feels
Answer: A
10.
HER: “He knows I love the corner pieces of brownies, so he saved them for me”
The group chat collectively:
A) Breadcrumbing
B) Micro-mance
C) Love bombing
D) Groundhogging
Answer: B
11.
HER: “He gets annoyed every time I make plans without him. Red flag or am I overthinking?”
Which deserves the serious answer?
A) Beige flag
B) Red flag
C) Ick
D) Rizz
Answer: B
12.
HER: “He talked about himself for the ENTIRE date. Ask me if he knows one thing about me.”
She has been:
A) Yap-trapped
B) Kittenfished
C) Benched
D) Orbited
Answer: A
REPORT CARD
0-3: Removed from the girls’ group chat
You thought a soft launch involved NASA. We cannot help you.
4-6: Silent member of the group
You read everything. You understand approximately half of it. Nobody is asking for your advice yet.
7-9: Screenshot privileges granted
You can distinguish an ick from a red flag and know that “GUYS.” at 1.13am constitutes an emergency.
10-11: The girls trust your judgement
Screenshots arrive with the words: “Tell me what you think.” This is an honour and a responsibility.
12/12: Honorary girlfriend
No explanation required. You not only understood the assignment, you can set the next one.
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