Taking care of a baby is a serious endeavour that should never be taken on lightly. And one 19-year-old made the tough choice of saying “no” when her pregnant roommate asked if she would be willing to help raise hers.
Furthermore, she told the latter to move out of the apartment before starting to doubt if her actions were “harsh.” She shared her experience on the popular subreddit, r/AITAH, where she received unanimous support.
The issue with the pregnant roommate
The OP revealed that she had lived with her 21-year-old roommate, Kayla, for a year after getting the apartment on her own first. Two months ago, Kayla informed her that she was pregnant. She was dating an older, married guy, so the news was a surprise for the OP, who nevertheless congratulated her to avoid being rude.
Kayla was in a relationship for six months, but after becoming pregnant, her boyfriend cut all contact with her. The OP was concerned about her, and after weeks went by, Kayla finally sat her down and told her that she wished to keep the baby and raise it in the apartment.
This was upsetting for the OP, and she listed the following reasons as to why it was a bad idea:
- We (the OP and Kayla) live in a two-bedroom (apartment)
- Very thin walls
- I’m (OP) in school full-time but work night shifts.
- She’s (Kayla) in school to be a lawyer and wouldn’t have enough time to study
- The lease states that we can’t have any long-term guests.
Kayla argued back that the baby is not a guest and that she can figure out how to take care of it herself. She vented that the boyfriend was not responding to her calls, but she still loved him. The last message that he apparently shared was that if she came near his family, he would “beat her.”
“I told her to report this, but she thinks I’m out to get him,” the OP wrote in her post. “It was too much. She also can’t stay with her parents because they don’t condone her having a baby out of wedlock; she said they’re going to stop paying her college tuition. I feel like that’s crazy for a parent to do.”
Then, Kayla shared her plan with the OP. She asked if the latter was willing to switch rooms so that she could have the bigger one, and then help her at times when the baby cries. This is when the OP told her that she needs to find a new roommate.
She stressed that she signed up for a roommate and not a baby, and that the place was not right to raise a child. She further explained that if Kayla wanted to keep the baby, she needed to find another place before the lease was renewed.
However, Kayla did not wish to move out as she was apparently close to the OP. She cried and begged, telling the OP that she was “horrible for wanting to kick out a pregnant woman.”
When she said that she could not afford a place of her own right now, the OP suggested shelters for women and some other resources that can help her. A friend of Kayla’s told the OP that she was being a bad person, but the latter wondered why they would not take her in the first place. The OP genuinely felt that having the baby would change their living situation, and asked Redditors to share their views.
Reddit supports OP’s decision
Netizens on Reddit overwhelmingly supported the OP’s choice of telling her pregnant roommate to move out of the apartment, and cautioned her against changing her mind
“She’s trying to make you into the second parent. The sooner she has to move out the more likely she is to have figured out housing before her baby arrives. Do not let her con you into letting her stay,” wrote a person.
“If she can’t actually support herself, she has no business having a baby, especially with someone else’s husband,” was another’s opinion of Kayla.
“Having a baby is her choice. Not having a baby is yours. It’s not your baby. You don’t owe her anything,” explained a third.
“She created the situation, and now she has to deal with it, and none of it is your responsibility. She asked, and you said no, you have your own obligations,” echoed a fourth.
“You sound like you are almost on the verge of caving in. DO NOT. I repeat DO NOT GIVE IN. Living with a baby will completely upend your life,” warned a fifth. “You did not sign up for that, as others have said, you signed up for a roommate, not a roommate and a baby. Tell her the sooner that she figures out her new living situation, the more settled she will be by the time the baby arrives. I know it sounds harsh, but DO NOT feel guilty, this is not your problem to solve.”
“She created a problem that she wants you to fix. Don’t do it,” stated yet another.
Note to readers: This report is based on user-generated content from social media. HT.com has not independently verified the claims and does not endorse them.
