Stretching out. Olivia Rodrigo’s new album, You Seem Pretty Sad for a Girl So in Love, drops in June. Seems like the long, rambling album title is the mood of 2026. Harry Styles, Taylor Swift and Lana Del Rey have all gone wordy. Bow to the OG overachiever. Fiona Apple’s gloriously extra 1999 album, When the Pawn…, goes on for 90 words. Today’s kids could never!
Signing off. Google will soon allow users to update their Gmail handles (mails will be delivered regardless of the old or new name). Pity. Having a cringe personal Gmail ID was one of the defining signs of being an actual human. Goodbye, HotMilf69, Ch0c0L8_Bunny, RatLover23 and GigglyBear4U – we’ll miss the idiots we once were.
Feeling the kitsch. Saw that Reel of Isabel Marant selling flowers at a traffic signal in Mumbai? The French designer was trying out “a day in the life of a Pardhi flower seller”. It’s a gimmicky stunt for her upcoming “collab” with the community. It’s 2026, Isabel. Stop parachuting in and expecting to understand caste and class in one evening. Didn’t you plagiarise motifs from indigenous Mexicans in 2015? Why are you still tone deaf?
Pulling rank. Zara Larsson, our pop messiah, believes that the only people who care about the music charts are industry execs and Swifties. TBH, we’re not tracking the numbers closely. But Taylor Swift’s people clearly want the narrative changed, because Larsson issued an explanation about it soon. We know you were silenced, Zara. Blink twice if you need help.
Dying on this hill. Another day, another new term to digest. This time it’s Alpine Divorce. It’s what happens when men abandon their partners or leave them trailing mid-hike, on cliffs or on dangerous trails, implying they deserve to be punished for not being men. Enough. How many terms before men realise how poorly they treat women?
Toning it down. Scranton calling! We’re learning that Jim from The Office may have something to do with the Millennial voice (that chill, casual, “I’m just like you” vibe) in American ads. John Krasinski dubbed for Apple and Blackberry in the early 2000s. But brands sound more like bored interns now. Which Gen Z icon are they drawing from?
Feeling the churn. It’s not a good time for K-pop fans. Manon is not coming back to Katseye. Plus, after 10 years with NCT and its sister bands, Mark is not renewing his contract. Plus, plus, Heeseung from ENHYPEN has packed his bags and left too. When is the next deathblow coming? This is worse than GoT.
Spitting curses. Jujutsu Kaisen’s S3 finale deserves its 9.9 score on IMDb. But when is Part 2 of the Culling Games coming? Fans were expecting a 24-episode run, but only 12 aired (but they had a wild intro song, killer battle scenes and Tarantino references). While fans wait, they might want to build up their sorcerer physique. “Alexa, order some dessert protein powder”.
From HT Brunch, April 11, 2026
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