Getting stood up is a frustrating, emotionally draining risk in online dating. While you can’t force someone to show up, you can minimise the sting and protect your time by vetting matches properly and setting solid boundaries. Bengaluru-based content creator Aamil recently learned this the hard way. Also read | Online dating: Why do people catfish? Red flags to watch out for and how to deal
On May 1, Aamil took to Instagram to detail his experience, which he labelled as the ‘worst date in Bengaluru’. In a video that resonated with many, he captioned his ordeal: “Another bad date. Hoping the next one is better.”
Indiranagar to Electronic City for this?
The experience began on a positive note but quickly soured. Aamil narrated, “Dating in Bengaluru is an absolute joke. So I matched with this girl on Bumble, and she was taking all the initiative, and you know, she seemed really into me.”
After a week of conversation, the pair decided to meet. However, the logistics were heavily skewed. “She was staying in Electronic City. I live in Indiranagar. She said that she cannot meet midway. So she called me all the way to Electronic City,” Aamil explained.
Despite his enthusiasm, Aamil admitted to ignoring some early warning signs: “Before we were about to meet, I asked her for her Instagram. She told me she’s not on Instagram. I asked her if she is comfortable sharing her number. She said she is not. Two red flags that I just skipped and missed — I have no idea why.”
’30 minutes later, this girl still hasn’t shown up’
After travelling for ‘about an hour and a half’ to reach the designated cafe, the situation went from suspicious to silent. After checking in, the woman reportedly said she would arrive in 15 minutes. “So I’m at the cafe, and 30 minutes later, this girl still hasn’t shown up. And now I’m getting a little worried. I’m like, ‘Is she even going to show up?'” Aamil shared. Attempting to lighten the mood, he sent her a message on Bumble: “Hey, I hope I’m not getting stood up today.”
The response was finality. “There was no response. I tried calling her on Bumble, but she didn’t answer. Two minutes later, she unmatched me on Bumble. And that’s that.”
Reflecting on the waste of time and effort, Aamil didn’t hold back his frustration. “I never see her again; I never hear from her again. This was a total disaster. I don’t understand how pathetic people can be. I mean, why would someone do something like this? I have no idea why.”
‘I think it’s the cafe that is scamming you’
The video sparked a debate in the comments section regarding dating etiquette. One sceptic commented, “Just because she didn’t give her number, how can you judge that she is a red flag?” Another added, “She’s a teacher, making people learn lessons.”
Someone also wrote, “I think it’s the cafe that is scamming you. Using dating apps to get customers. Don’t get into any place until the other person arrives.” One Instagram even user offered a ‘thumb rule’ for first dates to avoid such heartbreak: “Meet halfway or almost halfway (non-negotiable). This shows if they’re willing to make the effort.”
In a 2022 interview with HT Lifestyle, Ravi Mittal, founder of Quack Quack, reminded daters that while humour is ‘the oldest trick in the trade’, punctuality and mutual effort remain the bedrock of a successful first encounter. Click here to read the full interview for more first date tips.
Note to readers: This report is based on user-generated content from social media. HT.com has not independently verified the claims and does not endorse them.
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