Meaningful relationships are built on communication, especially during uncomfortable moments. Silent treatment often creates more anxiety than resolution, because one partner is left guessing instead of understanding. In an interview with HT Lifestyle, Chandni Gaglani, relationship expert and Head of Aisle, shared five healthier ways to approach the situation.
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1. Don’t match silence with silence
When someone pulls away emotionally, the instinct is often to shut down, too. But Chandni advises that in healthy relationships, one person needs to break the cycle calmly. Instead of reacting with anger or passive aggression, approach the conversation gently: “I feel there’s distance between us. Can we talk about what’s going on?”
2. Focus on understanding the reason
According to Chandni, when someone becomes silent, the instinct is often to react, but studies show the silent treatment is usually just a subconscious way of coping with overwhelm. This is especially common in anxious-avoidant relationship dynamics where one partner shuts down to self-soothe. To deal with this, it is better to wait until the conflict has fully resolved to calmly unpack the underlying pattern, identify blind spots, and figure out how to work together next time. These attachment triggers don’t disappear by simply changing partners, which is why committing to inner work or couples counseling is essential to address personal blind spots.
3. Address the pattern, not just the moment
Occasional space is healthy. But repeated silent treatment creates emotional inconsistency, and inconsistency slowly damages trust in relationships. If communication disappears every time things get difficult, it’s important to address that pattern openly and early.
4. Be clear about what you need
People often assume their partner “should just know” what hurts them. But clarity matters. Saying something as simple as, “I’m okay with taking space, but complete silence affects me emotionally,” creates healthier boundaries and expectations.
5. Know when silence becomes emotional unavailability
“Not every difficult phase means the relationship is unhealthy. But if someone repeatedly avoids communication, accountability, or emotional presence despite multiple conversations, it may point toward deeper incompatibility,” said Chandni. Today’s daters increasingly value emotional availability and consistency as core relationship traits, not optional extras.
Why does the issue need to be resolved?
Chandni highlighted that conflict is normal in every relationship. But silence rarely solves conflict — it usually prolongs confusion, resentment, and emotional distance.
Today’s singles are increasingly prioritising emotionally mature relationships built on openness, consistency, and mutual support. In that context, silent treatment can feel especially damaging because it removes reassurance and communication at the exact moment they’re needed most.
According to Chandni, for relationships to grow long-term, especially among people looking for serious commitment, difficult conversations need to feel safe enough to have honestly. The strongest partnerships aren’t the ones without conflict — they’re the ones where both people are willing to communicate through it.
Note for the readers: This article is for informational purposes only and should not be considered a substitute for professional advice. Please consult a qualified expert for personalised guidance.
